I'm in New Hampshire for a family visit, so I decided to go into my favorite bar The Shaskeen!
I'm feeling good; I've got my kelly green sweater on and I'm wearing my uber-sexy, kitty-kitty, meow-meow boots with my jeans tucked into them. I always get complimented on those boots, plus they make me about 6'2". It's hard to miss me in a crowd! And, they definitely put a little swagger back into my walk.
*MEOW!*
Seeing this was my first St. Patrick's Day going to a bar, I wasn't quite sure exactly what to expect but at 4:30pm, as I was trying to park my car, I began to notice a lot of people already doing the bar crawl dressed in their green outfits and staggering drunk. I thought better them, than me!
I walk into the bar alone knowing that at some point I would probably bump into someone I knew. And, just as expected, right when I walk in I spot my cousin, Kristin, and her boyfriend. We chat up a storm and who comes in next, but my Auntie Holly and Uncle Dave. I'm so deliriously happy to see them...and I'm drinking beer!!!
Next, my cousin, Lizzie, walks over to me and gives me a big hug. It was surreal, because we had been trying to meet up with each other for the last a couple years, but the timing was always off. It's a long story, but this was our first time meeting each other - ever!
Somehow, the hours were flying by. Alcohol, I have learned, makes me a little chatty and fiery - if that's possible. I'm really enjoying myself, and over-joyed to be hanging with my family. They rock!
At one point, I remember a tall guy joining our little gathering at the corner of the bar. I didn't really notice him at first, and I can't remember if I was introduced to him or not, but from the looks of it, he apparently knew my cousin, Kristen. My feet were getting tired, so I decided to take a little break and sit down.
Sipping my beer (I was well onto my 2nd pint!) and listening to a conversation that Uncle Dave was having with the two guys sitting next to us, my Auntie Holly comes over to me all excited and wide-eyed.
"Carrie....Carrie! Don't you know who that is?" she said pointing to the guy talking to Kristen.
I lean to my left and looked around my aunt's shoulder to get a better look.
"Uhm...no..I don't recognize him. Should I?"
"You don't recognize him? Carrie! You don't recognize him?"
I look at my auntie with a blank look on my face, "Seriously, I don't recognize him."
"Carrie! It's Rugby Dude! You know...Rugby Dude who ate off your plate?!"
In my slight beer fog, it finally dawned on me exactly who this tall good-looking guy was talking to Kristen.
"Holy crap! That's Rugby Dude???" My auntie's face lit up as she vigorously nodded her head in agreement.
I immediately stood up, practically pushed my auntie aside, and strutted my 6'2" self on over to Rugby Dude, interrupted his conversation with Kristen and proclaimed, "Now I remember you!"
Like a deer-in-the-headlights, Rugby Dude looked at me and then over to my aunt, "Did she just have to remind you who I was...because, look, I'm really sorry about that night. I was really drunk..."
Oh, he was drunk that night alright!
It was three years ago...
I was out with my friend, Lisa, who I had not seen in 10 years or so. I was excited to catch up with her over dinner at The Wild Rover. Nathan, my brother, was the bartender there that night, so I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone.
Lisa and I sat in the restaurant area of the bar. We both ordered the pumpkin ravioli, which I had been craving all week. I was starving, so when the waitress came by with our food, I was ready to eat! I put my napkin in my lap and looked up to find a tall, good-looking, sweaty guy standing at our table. I think I remember saying hello to him and then giving him a look like can I help you? He was staring at my scrumptious plate of pumpkin ravioli and then took it upon himself to help himself to one of the ravioli's! With his hand!
"Seriously?!"
I pushed the plate towards him, "Honey, you can have the whole thing."
At the time, I didn't know, or care, who he was and clearly, he didn't know who I was. But it didn't matter who I was - rude is rude!
"Really?" as he chewed my food.
"Really. It's all yours," I said sarcastically.
As he walked away with my plate, my attention went back to Lisa who was sitting across from me in shock.
Trust me, it took all I had not to chase after him, grab my pumpkin ravioli and dump it all over his head. And then, top it all off by giving him my best flying elbow.
Fortunately for him that stupid thing in my head called my conscience chimed in and reminded me that I didn't want to known around town as "Nate's sister - who clocked a guy for eating off her plate."
Although, it did have a nice ring to it...
Instead, I thought it would be best to let my big brother do my dirty work for me.
*DING!*
If you want to be treated like a lady, you have to act like one.
*DING! DING!*
Instead of clobbering dude, I let Nathan handle it. Oh, and believe me, he wasn't happy when I told him what had just happened because, apparently, that "dude" was one of the rugby guys that frequented the bar all the time and his team brought in a lot of business.
I knew that wasn't going to matter to Nathan. Because "sister" trumps "rugby player," Someone was about to get kicked out!
Fast forward to St. Patrick's Day three years later...
"You're the guy who ate off my plate!"
"Did your aunt just tell you who I am?"
Nodding my head up and down and staring at him with fire in my eyes I said, "Oh, yes she did! I didn't recognize you. You looked different back then. Your hair was shorter and blonder, and you were looking like a sweaty, hot mess that night."
"Listen, I'm really sorry about that night. I didn't know who you were, and I guess that was my way of flirting with you."
"Flirting? I'm surprised that that you even remember that night because you were tanked! You didn't even have your shoes on. And, you were in a bar!"
"It was my birthday, and we had just won a game...I was drunk, but I do remember everything."
"Yes you were! Nathan was so angry with you! I've only seen him that angry twice in my life. Once, was Halloween, when someone grabbed my super-hero ass, and the other time was when you ate off my plate!" Rugby Dude got kicked out immediately that night. He said that he felt so bad about the incident that he didn't show his face in the bar for a month.
Big whoop. A whole month? Hell, if he really felt that bad it should have been for at least six months...
Rugby Dude seemed like a nice guy while we were talking, but the whole time I kept hearing my auntie's voice in my head reminding me that he was a bad boy and to stay away from him. She would know because not only did he go out with Kristen a few times, but also one of Kristen's friends - and the rumor was...he was not a nice guy to date. So, I was all set - I didn't even have the desire to entertain the thought of going out with him until I, at one point, in our conversation, touched his arm and all reasonable and responsible thoughts went out of my head!
*ZING!*
Instead, they were replaced with the thought that maybe the Dating Gods had answered my prayers! Underneath those clothes, I imagined his body was similar to my dream boat, Alexander Scarsgard...
*SWOON!*
At 8:00pm, my friend Rachel walked in and my family left. As they were leaving, Aunt Holly gave me another warning to stay away from Rugby Dude. I smiled and assured her that I would.
Now, let me give you a little back-ground on Miss Rachel. Rachel eats men up and spits them out and then wipes her feet on whatever is left of them. And guys love it. She is a professional at verbal lashings and ball busting - so I figured that maybe Rugby Dude just needed someone more like Rachel to put him in his place. I immediately introduce them.
Shaking her hand he looks at me and asked, "Does she know, too?"
"Of course she does!" I said with a big smile on my face.
The evening carried on and Rachel and I had a great time talking and flirting with the other patrons at the bar. But it was obvious that the both of us had the hots for Rugby Dude.
I have to hand it to Rachel - if a guy is a dirt bag they'd better watch out, because she will treat them like the piece of sh*t they are, and have no qualms about it. I was secretly hoping that Rugby Dude would go for Rachel and take the heat off of me. Nathan was bartending and watching me talk to Rugby Dude. I had been drinking, so even though I knew he was a bad boy, and I got specific instruction to stay away from him, I was definitely feeling attracted to him. How could I not? He was my type - minus the bad boy part, of course. He was about 6'3, handsome, clean cut, athletic and wearing a button down shirt and slacks like he just came from the office. Oh, and he was from Texas and still had a bit of an accent...and you know what they say about guys from Texas!
Specifically, Rule #2 - Nathan and I do not date each others friends. (Dammit!) that rule really isn't fair, because he is like the mayor - he knows everyone in town.
Then, I noticed Rugby Dude and Rachel talking on the other side of the bar. I thought for sure I now wouldn't have to worry about the rules or fight off the lusty thoughts I was starting to have for him! That worked until Rachel came back over to where I was standing at the bar. She was laughing hysterically.
"You are not going to believe this! He thought your name was Angela! Oh, my God! He was talking the whole time about Angela and I was like, who? And he said, you know, Nathan's sister. And I said, you mean, CARRIE?! Girl, it was so funny, because then he asked if I was going to tell you he got your name wrong, and I said, oh definitely!"
I told you she was a ball-buster.
(Again, Beth is my proofreader - she occasionally leaves funny comments in pink caps - they were too funny to delete.)
Boys! Are they that clueless? Do they really think that they can act and treat women however they want to without any repercussions? Clearly, he was really loaded that night he ate off my plate because there's drunk...and then there's tanked! (STICKY FINGERS IN A STRANGERS FOOD....EWWWW!) On top of that, then he's got a really bad reputation with women per my auntie, cousin and big brother - (FAMILY CONSENSUS!) (AND...THE ICING ON HIS CAKE...IF HE REALLY GAVE A DINGDANGDOODLE ABOUT ANY OF THE ABOVE, HE'D KNOW YOUR NAME...IT WOULD BE BLAZED INTO HIS GREY MATTER...RIGHT ALONG WITH HIS FAVORITE MOVIE LINE AND THE SIZE OF NATHAN'S FIST.) Did my name really escape him? Really? A class act, I tell you!
NEXT!!!!!
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