Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.
How's that for an intro?! Here's the deal - I was bored on Saturday, and for writing inspiration, I found myself cruising the online personals, like Match from Hell......
and Plenty of Crap.
Plenty of Crap had the usual suspects, and God, they all horrify me. HORRIFY!
I have come to the conclusion that if Plenty of Crap is what I have left to choose from in the dating world, then I'm going to die alone! ALONE! Well, unless I move away from New Jersey - then I might have a better chance at finding someone decent, but until then - the prospects horrify me!
While cruising, I did notice a lot of new people on Match from Hell since the last time I looked, which was probably a few months ago. This time, I also noticed the little button that said I could sign up for a FREE three-day membership. Woo-hoo!
*click!*
We all know that I've been on and off Match from Hell several times. I have a current profile, (it's pretty freaking awesome, too, if you ask me) but I keep it hidden, because I'm no longer a member.
Here's a trick of the trade....Match from Hell likes to mess with you. If you cancel your profile and don't hide it they will sucker you right back in. And trust me, you'll fall for it.
For example, if you cancel your membership people can still email you, but you can't read what they wrote AND, more importantly, WHO wrote it. That's how Match gets you. "Oh, wait, Carrie - SOMEONE EMAILED YOU.....HE MIGHT BE THE ONE!" (For the record...I hate that term, "The One." There is no, "The One!" There is only "The One" you pick! (I'm turning so cynical!)
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HURRY! HURRY, and connect today!
Connect today....sign back up because you can't read the emails if you are not a member. Got it?
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| Jabba the Hut |
Fuckers. I fell for that once. ONCE! And when I opened the email, the guy looked like this ===>
That's all it took...a, "Hey Carrie, you've got new email!" I was so pissed off with myself that I got suckered into signing up for another three months of pure torture! And, I PAID money for this!
I did learn my lesson from that. I hide my profile now. That way, nobody can see me, or write to me. I'm in total lock-down. I read all the profiles I want....for FREE! Ha!
Now, they wave a free three-day pass at me, and even with all I know about Match from Hell's sly moves, I clicked on that button anyway. It's free for God sakes.....and I needed some writing inspiration - or better yet, a date! Yes, a date would be nice for once.
So, there I am on Saturday, cruising and reading profiles. It can be quite entertaining, and some of the profiles really make me smile sometimes. (A well-written profile, coupled with humor, always gets me. That, and a great smile and nice arms.) *swoon!*
If only some of them were just a little cuter, or taller. Or both. Did someone put something in the drinking water to stunt everyone's growth here in New Jersey?
I had a guy email me tonight that was 5'7". Did he NOT notice the sign? I swear to God, this is what it says on my profile - the HEADING OF MY PROFILE!
-------You Must Be This Tall to Ride This Ride-----------
No joke. It's on there.
Even from my pictures, how can you not notice that I'm an Amazon? I'm 5'11" and I state in my profile that I want someone who is 6'1 - 6"4.......I'll even accept 6' if the guy has a big build.....but 5'7"? I think I was 5'7" in 8th grade. Plus, y'all know me....I'm a big girl, and I want a guy to be able to envelope me in his arms when he hugs me. Take a look at my brothers....big men! I can't take someone home shorter than me! Nathan and Dirk would die laughing!
I want to be the little spoon when spooning!
Okay, this is not what inspired me to blog tonight. I'm really writing because I got an email from a guy who I met on Match from Hell a few years ago. Apparently, he's still single (no surprise there) and he signed back up again.
"I was shocked to see you here. I was actually talking about you with my best friend just the other night along the subject of what an idiot I am. Also women with awesome cars came up. How's the rocket doing?"
Here's my dilemma. I dated dude for a few months. He was younger than me - seven years younger to be exact. I didn't mind that he was younger, but eventually it bothered him.
One night, hanging out at my apartment, I noticed he was acting weird. When confronted him, he blurted out, "Carrie I really want kids, and by the time I am ready to have them, your ovaries will be too old."
Nice, right?
How about, "Hey Carrie, this relationship isn't working out for me anymore."
Or....
"Hey Carrie, I'm not feeling this relationship anymore."
ANYTHING....but that!
I was beside myself - and I think for once I was speechless.
SPEECHLESS! Me! Carrie! SPEECHLESS!
Is your jaw still on the ground? Covering your mouth because it's hanging wide open? Well, welcome to my crazy world of dating then!
I'm pretty sure that was possibly the worst thing that anyone has ever said to me. It was downright mean. It hurt my feelings. This was two years ago! I was 37 or 38! Geeze! We were JUST DATING! I didn't even HAVE future plans with him in mind...........
So, he had to go, and I mean permanently go! No chance of staying friends....no way. Lose my number, don't ever call me again.
Not to worry, I didn't spazz out on him, but rather I smiled and showed him the door. The following night though, was a different story. I drove to New Hampshire for the weekend, poured my heart out to my girlfriends who, in return, poured me several Jack & Cokes. With their humor and love, I managed to get past the hurtful remark....or was I just looking for an excuse to get drunk for once?
*DING!*
Remember that one, Kelly?
One would hope that that story ends there, but it didn't. Noooooo. Why would it? Like all boys - they all try to come back. And he tried - especially during the first 6 months. But, I'm a stubborn red-head...so, I've ignored his texts. Yes, that includes the nice texts.....the angry texts.....the frustrated texts....all of them. My favorite is the one he sent me at Christmas:
"Hey Carrie, I know you hate me now, but Merry Christmas anyway."
I believe that a man who is sincerely apologetic, should pick up the phone and call. He didn't, because he's hiding behind it. I really don't think that's asking for too much. Just a phone call and a real apology.
A real man would do that. Boys text.
Now, do I respond to his email? But, what's in it for me? And, why the HELL should I be all nice-nice with someone who thinks that just because it's been two years that a apology still isn't necessary? He even admits he fucked up. I AM a great woman....and please, don't even THINK about using flattery...talkin' about my Red Rocket and all! I don't fall for that nonsense anymore....get in line buddy.......day late, dollar short. NEXT!
They all come back around - eventually. Some even more than once. I never understood that, so I must blame the chicks that keep enabling this bad behavior by getting back together with guys who don't deserve a second chance.
Honestly, I'm getting tired of helping others learn their lessons - mind you, at MY expense. You know? I'm really tired of it. Hey guy, glad you recognized where you went wrong.....but you hurt my feelings! And now all those great times we shared together just went out the door, because this shitty thing you just said to me is now going to be the last thing I remember about you...........
"A man is not remembered how he enters, but by how he exits."
So, here I am thinking that nothing will come out of this if I respond to his email. This is, after all, is about him. Am I wrong here? I know his type: Insecure, and eager to tell me all about how well he's doing - his new job in the city, his new apartment - and he's also thinking in the back of his head that there's a possibility of make-up sex. He just wants to be validated and told he wasn't a bad guy after all.
Well, he was and I forgot about him a year and a half ago.
By the way, my three days are up tomorrow.
That's all I got for tonight.....later girls.
x/o's
Carrie
PS: Justin Matisse........I'm still waiting..........
