Dear Dating Gods

Dear Dating Gods:

I'll be honest with you, I'm not sure how much longer I can go PF...  I'm really starting to climb the walls here. After all, I am in my "prime" you know!

Look, you know I'm really Hell-bent on doing the right thing for myself and I want to set the example for others, but...I don't know how much longer I can hold out! 

I've been staying away from all the temptation, well, not that it hasn't been all that hard.  No dates recently, and I just recently cleared the playing field to start the New Year off right, even though there was only two contestants. I just wasn't into them.  So, they got the boot and the "I'm just not feeling the chemistry," speech.

For research reasons, and for entertainment value, I'm still on-and-off Plenty of Crap and Match from Hell.  Most people would think it's a waste of time, but I have definitely scored ideas on what I want to write about in a book. I've had guys on there interested in me, but they fall short in so many ways (too many to list here) and nobody has been able to fill the shoes of the guy I sorely deserve.

Indeed, I have set the bar high. Screw it. I know what I want, and I'm not going to lower my standards just so I don't have to be ALONE anymore.  Most women would, but I'm not most women.  And Dating Gods, it does bother me that women do this, and again, I'm just trying to set the example here. Like Gandhi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world."  So, I'm trying!  My choices may not be the most popular, but I know they are right for me.

Having said all of that I would like to know, if it's not too much to ask for....could you please send Alexander Scarsgard my way?  He would definitely fit the bill!

Thank you, Dating Gods, I REALLY appreciate it!

Carrie

______________________________________________________


Hell ya, I'm aiming high!  I just watched back-to-back episodes of HBO's "Generation Kill" and ladies, I don't know about YOU, but it was like PORN to me!  Ay dios mío!

Seriously, just like a drug as soon as one episode was over, I was clicking onto the next.  When the DVD ended, I immediately stuffed it in the Netflix envelope and ran it out to the mailbox before the mailman got there, just to ensure I got the next one as soon as possible.  

That's what a drug addict does, right?  Frantically searches for their next fix? Well, that's been me then.  Frantic, tail-feathers rustled, pining to see more hot marines - dirty, sweaty men...carrying their M16's...

Yes, I know, it's the short hair, the muscles, the tattoos, the guns...their ability to be respectful even when they disagree - it's their integrity, their guts, their selflessness, their brazenness, their commitment...do you see where I'm going here?  Give me a guy who has THOSE attributes, and I'll show you a girl who's in love. 

(That would be me.)  

OK, maybe dude doesn't have to own or carry a gun, but I can dream, right?  I mean, guys like big boobs and long legs on girls, why can't I have a guy that knows how to use a firearm?  It's a turn-on, and any girl who says that it isn't - has never dated a man who carries a gun.

How about dating a cop, you ask?  I already dated two.  I'm not saying that all cops are crazy...but I'll just play it safe here and say they are just not for me.  One dude was definitely bat-shit crazy, and the other was already married...to his job.  Noble of him, but that just didn't work for me, however, we still remain friends.

*whispers*  It's always good to have a NYC cop in your back pocket for those times when you just might need to use that "Get Out of Jail Free" card...otherwise known in NYC as a PBA card. I have four.  *smiles*

Which reminds me...I need my new one for 2011.  Looks like I will be taking a trip downtown to see my Undercover Brother.  *Ding!*  Or maybe I just need to send out the bat signal.  

OK, enough about the cop.

Back to the marines....

Image credit: Paul Schiraldi

What's there not to love?

*SWOON!*

My Blind Date with Conan O'Brien

FINALLY! The dating floodgates have opened and now I practically need a secretary to keep my appointments on my calendar straight!  Where have these guys been?  I've been on a dating dry-spell for years, and now I'm getting bombarded with suitors?!  It must be my new profile, either that or the Dating Gods are now smiling down upon me for doing something right!

*DING!*

I'm not going to lie, there is still that residual energy...thoughts…whatever you want to call it, regarding DC Dude yet, I am determined to move forward even if I have to date everyone in New York City!

I swear I'm going to move past this, so help me God!!

I'm taking it one date at a time, and one day at a time.

Speaking of...I was set up with a date recently, the old-fashioned way, thanks to my neighbor, John.

John was standing outside his house smoking a cigar when I got home the other night.  I like John - he's in his 60's and just a class act - happily married, well-traveled and just has a wealth of knowledge to share, plus he told me I can take out BMW M3 whenever I want to......!!

VRRRRROOOMMMM!!!!!!

So, I get out of my car and notice John ushering me over and, as usual, we started to chit-chat.  He tells me that he just came back from Italy with his wife and a good friend of his who he considered "like a son."  He tells me all the fabulous things they did in Italy, all the while giving me the hard sales pitch on his friend.  From time to time, while describing his friend and his two-week long tour of Italy, he'd turn his head, take a puff off his cigar, and in very contemplating manner, blow the smoke up in the air very casually.  I could tell he was contemplating something. 

I've seen this before - I knew what was coming.

"You know, my friend is single, and I actually brought you up while we were in Italy.  I really think the two of you should meet."

My first knee-jerk reaction was, of course, "How tall is he?"  John looks up in the air, scratches his beard, and says, "I think he's about six-foot one," showing me with his hand.   More than likely, the guy is only six feet tall which, still isn't bad but, *wrinkles nose* I prefer taller.  I'm 5'11"!!  I need a tall man!

As our conversation continued, I'm thinking, "Do I have enough time to squeeze in another date?" My dance card was getting full at that point.  Match from Hell was paying off – I had three guys on the roster already:

1. Landscape Guy
2. Interior Designer Dude
3. Swedish Psychologist Dude.  

But, what the heck?  Why not?  What’s one more date?  What’s one more guy.........?


I realized after John's great sales pitch that I was going to have to give up my phone number.  So, I wrote it down on a piece of paper and handed it to him.  John seemed quite pleased with himself. 

We wrapped up our conversation, and said our good-bye's.

As I was walking away, he added, "Oh, by the way, Carrie, my friend has three children.  Fourteen, twelve and nine."

Fourteen, twelve and nine..........

Oh, God, I could end up like Julia Roberts in "Stepmom"..........

OK, well John....that would be an important piece of information to give me BEFORE I agreed to meet your friend.  THREE children?  That's a lot!  NOT that I don't like kids, but that's definitely "instant family" right there.  Kinda scary, if you ask me!

I yell back over to him, "Thanks for that information John! Hey, by the way, what does he look like?"

Confidently he says, "He's looks like Conan O'Brien," waves good-bye and walks into his house.

Wait, Conan O'Brien?

Don't over-analyze it, Carrie.....just go with it!

My blind-date called me two days later and, after a nice 20 minute conversation, we made plans for a dinner-date the following night. He would, of course, pick me up seeing that his good friend, John, lived across from me.

The night of our date, I got home and tried to talk myself out of the date. We all know that blind dates are disastrous…what was I doing?! He’s probably going to be fat and short - oh my God, this is going to be painful!

By the time I had was ready, and had bitched several times why I should be canceling my date to my roommate, the doorbell rang. 

Taking a deep breath and saying a small prayer, I opened the door.

Standing in front of me was NOT Conan O'Brien, but a very handsome man!  Hell, I practically fell over because my blind date was hot!  Not quite six-one, but...

*whispering* 

...we all knew he was only going to be 6' anyway.

Dinner was very enjoyable. He spoke immediately of his three children – two boys and a girl. He had married his high-school sweetheart, and had been divorced for 8 years - simple enough.  He was in sales so he had no problem holding a conversation with me.  I was thoroughly enjoying my date.

He was definitely easy on the eyes.  I couldn't help but notice that he was a really good-looking guy with a square jaw and looked more like Ed Harris (with a full head of hair) than Conan O'Brien for damn sure.

Hello!  Ed Harris!  Meow!

I have always been a sucker for that strong, square, Irish jaw....

*Pause*

Wait, my father has the same classic, Irish look – small nose and strong jaw.

*Weird moment*

Moving right along...

I'm two glasses of red wine in, and we are onto the subject of our last names. I happen to be really be fond of my last name. My date seemed to like it, too. Then, he tells me that he’s actually not Irish, but Scottish…and said his last name was "McSomething."

*Singing*

La-la-la….I'm feeling no pain...Scottish…Irish….whatever, it’s all the same to me (seeing I’m both as well).

I take another sip of my wine, but stopped myself and blurted out, “But, wait….I thought your last name was O’Brien...”

*Blink-blink. Tilts head to side*

For the love of God, in my hazy, red wine moment, I couldn’t think of where I got the idea that his last name was O’Brien.  I was drawing a blank, and it didn't help my awkward moment when I started mumbling my own thoughts out-loud.

Ooops!

Once I realized my error, I was quick to switch the subject, never knowing if my blind date knew his friend, John, described him as Conan...

Despite my big faux pas, we ended the evening with a little kissy-kissy make-out session in the car when we said good-bye. The following day he sent me a text, “What a good time, I enjoyed my blind date!” I responded back by saying basically the same thing, but I didn’t hear from him after that. OK, fair enough – I had fun, and this is what dating is all about.  At least, that’s what Nathan, my brother, keeps reminding me...

Well, Nathan, I had fun. And, he was a good kisser!

Next!

~Carrie