Friday, April 15, 2011

Nicknaming the Dating Contestants

I don't know about you, but it seems as though I've had a lot of dates over the years.  It's not like I'm some sort of serial dater, who has a date every night of the week, or even every week for that matter.  It's just that I've been single for a while (which seems like forever), so it feels like there have been a lot of guys...or as I call them, "dating contestants."

My dating life can be very much up-and-down.  One minute, I'm going through a dry spell, and then all of a sudden it's raining men.  Literally!

Too many guys at one time is not good for Carrie.  Yes, I know, you're probably thinking I have men lined up for every night of the week, but give me more than one guy to date at a time, and I get over-whelmed.  And I even get a little anxious! It's silly, and I don't know where it comes from, but that's how I get.  Lord knows that most women would love that kind of attention, but not me - because I'm not most women. (Just please don't tell anyone.)

So, since I have been single, the upside of it is that I have lots of juicy stories for my girlfriends.  They love hearing about my dating disasters - I'm just glad that something positive is coming out of it!  And the way I feel about it, if it entertains my girlfriends and makes good blogging material, then so be it. I guess it's the payoff I get for having all those callous boys hurt my feeling. But, I'll live.  I like to think that it's a learning experience - for all of us.

I usually don't get to see my girlfriends all of the time, so sometimes they get the stories and guys mixed up. It never fails, I'll be mid-sentence, giving an update, and someone will say, "I'm sorry, which guy is this you're talking about?"

Which guy?

Let's face it, nobody remembered Chris, Michael, Kevin, Tom, John or James.  It's a problem, and because I found myself constantly repeating how I met a guy, his stats, and how our first date went over and over...I had to come up with something.  I was tired of repeating myself. So, I started using nicknames.

Nicknames!  What a brilliant idea! I mean who could forget names like these?

Hockey Boy

Harvard Scorpio

The Marine

Lenny Kravitz

Cousin Vinny


Undercover Brother

Crooked-Dick Darryl

 
The Noocher

Anaconda Dick

The Senator

The Guy from Survivor

The Sociopath



The Good Doctor

Power of Now Guy
 

6'7"




(This is horrible to say, but please don't ever ask me what their real names are, because I don't remember most of them!  Oops!)

When dating, here's an interesting rule to keep in mind...




You don't name the puppy unless you plan on keeping it.

I have to give credit to my dear friend, Becky, who told me about that concept.  She's smart like that. Beautiful, funny and smart.

In Becky's book, naming the puppy before you are ready to keep him is apparently a big no-no. Think about it, because she is right.  Why would I use a boy's real name and confuse all my girlfriends if I'm not sure if I'm going to keep him?

Would you bring a guy home to meet your parents, if you weren't serious about him? Well, it's the same concept.

And, God forbid, you date more than one Michael, like I did.  Then you are *bleep*! You wanna to see some confusion?!  Date a guy who has a common name!

"Hey, did you you get back together?"

"I thought he was a jerk - you're dating him again?!"

You get the picture...

Nicknames are the way to go, and trust me, it works. No longer do my girlfriends get confused who is who anymore.  Everyone is happy.  No more confusion.

*DING!*

And no, the boys do not know their nicknames, well, except Undercover Brother, DC Dude and The Senator.  Those names are harmless and rather flattering...unlike Crooked Dick Darryl's nickname.

Well, it was crooked and shaped like a summer squash.


Nicknames have worked thus far, but I do foresee a problem in the future when I finally do decide to "name the puppy" and bring him home to meet the Hen House. I can just see it now.  One of the chicks will probably end up saying, "I'm sorry, I know all about you, but I just don't remember your name.  What was it again?"

*smacks head*

But, until I cross that bridge - let the nicknaming continue!

~Carrie