Mortgage Guy

I’m not on Match.com anymore, but I am on www.PlentyofFish.com, which some of my friends have referred to as "Plenty of Crap," or "Plenty of White Trash." Regardless, it’s a FREE online dating website.

Recently, I changed my status to living in Manchester, NH; I figured I would take Julie’s advice and fish in a local pond, seeing that I am seriously considering moving back to New Hampshire.

Yup, you read that right. I’m pretty much over the NYC/NJ thing. Nothing really keeping me there except my Monday through Friday job.  And now, because of the Recession, my hours were reduced to only working Monday through Thursday. If you do the math.....here, I’ll help you….that’s a 20% reduction in my salary. TWENTY! So, why I am living so far away from my family and friends, when I could (hopefully) find another job for the same money in New Hampshire?

So, the other weekend, I'm on PlentyofFish, and I have emails from two guys who caught my attention. The first one lives in North Sutton, NH.

North Sutton? Where the hell is that? I actually had to look it up on the map – and it was pretty damn far.

The other guy was a local guy from Manchester. He's 39-years old, 6’3” and owns a mortgage company.

I wasn’t too sure about the guy in North Sutton, because even though I was attracted to him, he didn’t have too much to say, plus he was AA for two years. Yikes! Great for him, but bringing someone to the Hen House that doesn't drink would probably go over like a fart in church!

So, now we are down to Mortgage Guy. Not sure if I will be into him. I'm concerned he won't be my type because he's a red head – but now shaves his head bald….so he USED to be a red head. Whatever.

We email; then graduate to texting for four days….and I’m expecting him to call me any day now, but he doesn’t. Typical.

*Rolling eyes*

So, fine.  I'll break tradition and call him first, so on Thursday night during my 4-hour drive to New Hampshire, I called him.

Conversation was good, it was easy to talk to him. I was hoping to meet him that weekend, but he couldn’t because it was his weekend with his 6-year old daughter. Damn.

I ask him if he knows my brother, Nathan, and he tells me he's been inside the Wild Rover once in 10 years, but that yes, he knew who he was.  Nathan had dated one of his friend's ex-girlfriends.  (No surprise there!)  But, at least we don't have to worry about Rule #2.  Whew! He tells me to drive safe, and that he'd be in touch on Friday.

Friday afternoon, I’m running around doing errands with Mommer. Mortgage Guy is texting me all day, trying to figure out a way we could meet, and he finally comes up with an idea. Would I be interested in meeting him at 4:00pm at Starbucks?

Starbucks?  Really?  We have one in Manchester?

Yes, there's one on South Willow Street and he goes there every Friday afternoon with his daughter.  He suggests that we could “accidentally bump into each other.”  Sounds like a plan!

I finish up errands with Mommer, and I head over to Starbucks. I’m there on time, I buy a Tall Skinny Vanilla Latte and find a comfortable spot, sit down and while I wait, I open up my Bible, “The War of Art."

He was a little late, but there was no mistaking him. He was definitely 6’3” and had a presence – or was it the big, huge smile across his face that gave him away? Clearly, he liked what he saw.

*smiles*

He walks in, dutifully holding his daughter’s hand, and approaches me. We say hello to each other and then he introduces me to his little girl. She’s as adorable as can be, and reminds me of Bernice in, “Hope Floats,” (my favorite movie).

Like her daddy, she’s got this little edge to her - and just like Bernice, her glasses are also too big, but hers are pink.

I get up, so we can move to where there is more comfortable seating. We decide to sit in the big soft chairs in the back of the room – his daughter settles in her chair, right across from us. She’s content with her pumpkin bread, hot chocolate and her Game Boy. I smile, as I’m watching her, and then I turn to Mortgage Guy.

Finally, we are face to face. Gosh he’s really cute! Great smile and love his nice, deep man voice – oh, and big man hands, too! Meow-meow! Okay, thank God – physical attraction is there *ding!* and apparently it’s mutual as he can’t seem to get that smile off of his face.

We end up talking about the basics….basically why are you still single? He doesn’t believe me when I tell him that it’s not me.  The choices at my age are limiting, and I add jokingly, “All the good ones are taken already!” He laughs, but doesn’t buy it. He can’t fathom how I’ve made it this far without being married – then he accuses me of being a “Runaway Bride.”

Runaway Bride? Me? Hell, no. I liked it better when he was calling me meatball earlier in the week when we were texting!

We end up talking for an hour and a half. But then I had to excuse myself, so I wouldn’t be late meeting the girls at the Hen House for wine and pizza. 

We hug each other good-bye, and he tells me that next weekend he’ll be available to see me again, because he won’t have his daughter.  Great!  I'm looking forward to it!

Overall, I liked him. He was much better looking in person than he was in his photos. And, of course, being 6’3” doesn’t hurt one bit! He'll definitely get a second date with me.

Huh…imagine that…I never thought I’d be into a guy that is a red head, but if there is one thing in the world that I’ve learned - it's that you NEVER SAY NEVER!  Yup!  There I go again...eating my words, as I know I've said it several times before.

*laughing*

See? That’s God, and his humor!

Crap! I’ve also said I would never date a short guy!

My New Year's Eve Revelation

I often say that God is in the driver's seat and I'm just sitting in the passenger side here for the ride.  After these past few weeks, winding down 2009, maybe I should listen to myself more often.

When I think I've got it figured out, I don't.  

When I think I'm in control, I'm not.  

When I think I know what's going to happen, it doesn't.

New Year's Eve for me was a eye-opening experience, and everything that led up to it was certainly not what I had expected.  I knew it was going to be a doozie.  There had been a lot of chatter and excitement brewing among those people who knew it was going to be a full-moon eclipse and in my sign of Cancer, no less. 

My favorite horoscope website www.astrolgoyzone.com had this to say in December:   

"At the full moon lunar eclipse of December 31, something will end forever, but a new chapter will be forming shortly thereafter.

This is a powerful month, dear Cancer. The eclipses, which arrive as two events, as a full and new moon, are now arriving in your sign of Cancer and opposite sign of Capricorn, and will emphasize your needs as well as your view of one close committed relationship. The eclipses will evolve you to a new phase, and help you correct imbalances that may have caused you frustration."

www.chronogram.com/issue/2010/1/Horoscopes

"As a person, especially one as sensitive as you are, you do take (things) personally. You not only wonder why people are not more receptive of your generosity; you also devote yourself to life, then make value judgments about yourself based on their lack of response. Here’s where, what I will call the fictional piece enters the equation. You make up a story about your personal worth, based on what you think that others think. This is, in turn, colored by your perceptions. Consider this equation, as you continue your long-overdue overhaul of your outdated ideas about relationships."

Ouch.

Here I was, sure that something in my life that was going to go bye-bye,like my job, my car, or DC dude. I was waiting for something to drop from my life.  Instead, this full-moon eclipse was about me.

Me!

My phone rang as I was getting ready to drive upstate NY for the long holiday weekend.  On the phone was my dear friend from Los Angeles, Pamela. It had been a while since we talked. She was calling me in the middle of the day to talk about the email I just sent her about how DC Dude just wasn't that into me.  I had been certain of this, because he dropped off the radar after losing his job.

Pam and I spoke for an hour; she was concerned I was losing sight of my authentic self from all the let-downs I recently had.  She noticed that I had become this person who takes it all personally.  I had developed a quick knee-jerk reaction - quick to shut down, and shut people out.  I wasn't giving anyone a true chance anymore.  She recognized this, because she had been guilty of the same thing, too.  And, maybe, she had been the bad influence on me?  

Had she?  

Yes, at the first sign of trouble I am out the door, without a second glance backwards.  I have become really good at it. But it wasn't always like this - this was an acquired skill.

A few hours later, I receive an email from my long-time friend,  Kris, who lives in Wisconsin, married, home-school's her two daughters, owns a scrap-booking business, a church-goer, and a fabulous person, all around, in my book.

"Losing a job is one of the major stresses a person can go through – he will not be acting his normal self while going through this.  I have seen this a lot just here in my circle of friends in Wisconsin – husbands who have lost jobs.  It is scary for them!  Even as a friend (romantics aside) now is the time to come along side someone who is hurting and make a difference in their life.  You have an opportunity to show him what God’s love is, caring for someone who is going through a stressful time in their life.  I’m not saying you have to take him in, provide meals for him, etc. – but just be understanding and compassionate towards him.  That is God’s love…not thinking on how you were treated or how you were hurt…but loving others despite that.

Then I hear from my Nashville friend, Kelly.  She definitely had something to say about it, too:

"Shit happens. Life gets in the way sometimes.  It's not intentional.  But you just don't seem to be willing to bend in that area at all."

So, with all that in mind, as I sit here in upstate New York, next to the wood-burning stove, listening to the winds howl and whip the snow around outside, I'm deep in thought.  

My girlfriends are right.

Wow. I feel lighter already and have a sense of clarity.  I feel better now going into 2010.  Not sure what my resolutions will be, but I definitely feel like I had a "revelation!"

I'm thankful for friends that are willing to go outside the box, disagree with me, and give me a bitch slap whenever I need one.... 

.....reminds me of when Cher slapped Nicolas Cage in, "Moonstruck."

"SNAP OUT OF IT!"
 

*WA-PAH!*