So, here it is, Easter. I’m at Barnes & Nobles happily browsing a table of new gardening books. I flipped through about five of them, but settled on this one:
The Noocher: Happy Easter.
Those of you who know me, know full well who this person is – and those of you who don’t, I’m pretty confident that at one point, every girl has had one of these guys in her life. He’s the guy that just won't go away - just like a bad habit, he keeps resurfacing. No matter how much time goes by. No matter how many times you’ve told him you are not interested, he still calls. These guys are either stupid or they are hoping that enough time has gone by that you forget why you dumped them in the first place.
When it comes to this particular guy, trust me, I’ve ignored his texts/calls and he still doesn't get the hint! Last summer, I even lied and told him I had a boyfriend. He left me alone...but here he is, again, nine months later. God! What an idiot!
I've always had suspicions about him, but after exchanging emails and phone calls with his ex-girlfriend - she found his name I posted on http://www.dontdatehimgirl.com/ - I knew this was my opportunity to call him out on his sh*t!
Screw it.
CARRIE: You know what…you never brought back those CD’s you took from my roommate, Debbie…so I guess that makes you thief. Not surprising though, especially after the conversation I had with your ex-girlfriend. She confirmed all my suspicions that I had about you. Do me a favor and lose my number. I don’t associate with thieves. Please delete my phone number.
THE NOOCHER: No one cares about you and your bitter ass. Not married, now or ever. You will have loads of cats.
CARRIE: Happy Easter to you, too, and thanks to you, your ex-girlfriend and I are now friends. She’s a lot like me: Too good for you.
THE NOOCHER: It was a bulk email. I’m in love with a strong woman who loves me. I don’t want the drama.
*ROLLS EYES*
Carrie: Great! Delete! Delete! Delete! Writing back to me means you are not deleting my number! Don't make have to go and change it...
So far, not a word from him...so I think the coast is clear. However, I thought that last summer, too, didn't I?And the time before that....
And that time before that....
And the time before that…..
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