Plenty of Fish: "LITTLEHARDBODY"

In recent weeks, I have come across some REALLY horrific online dating profiles and thought I should share them with you.  I do, however, need to preface this blog and give you a head's up that this WILL be painful - but, nonetheless, entertaining!  (I promise.)

I think it's very important to show my audience the desperation and downward spiral of humanity, as we know it.  After all, we can't change what we don't acknowledge. Not that there is any hope for this chick, but maybe this will be a reminder to all of you to be kind to your daughters.  Dads need to stick around and be involved with their kids, otherwise, your daughter might end up like this:

Petite Barbie seek Roid Head:

About me:

I AM SEARCHING FOR A FUN GORILLA-JUICE OUT /TALL FREAKISHLY SIZED BODYBUILDER-HES THE BIGGEST GUY IN THE GYM,YET HE NEVER FEELS BIG ENOUGH!I LOVE HUGE HOT MUSCULAR MEN-LIGHT EYES AND TALL!!!!! Someone that will make fun of people with me -dance with me--have a happy life-workout together everyday ... I am a size zero 4 ft 11 blonde gIrlie girl/hair/makeup/nails etc...i AM CURRENTLY SEPARATED=I am a LOYAL 24/7 partner....searching for my forever soul mate/lover and daily workout/lifting partner. He shares my goals of hard bodies and laughing daily,mostly being together 24/7 vacationing every month to mexico, and being madly in love. A REAL MAN will move mountains to get to his woman-and keep her happy.One who DOES NOT NEED ALONE TIME, because we are connected at the core and are together 24/7. One who shows up everyday . We motivate each other to greatness...WE are the couple people envy as we talk into each others ears and giggle! I truly would love meeting a giant muscular bison type bodybuilding gorilla! Juice is accepted and adored but not required! A non smoker-lover of life that does not live with his mother at 40. A man who loves to eat out and is no conservative....We can be silly and he does not care what others think or say about us....! He can laugh at himself, and most of all love insatiable me and make me smile... Keep me safe and never let me cry... Finding lust is simple but true love that lasts forever -love caring and respect-fighting fair and being a solid unit-you and me first-we are our foundation-our strength comes from this-thats the goal.......XO

First date:

I LOVE TO LAUGH! VACATION TO TEMPTATION-HEDONISM-CRUISING- DANCING-WORKING OUT-SOMETHING SUPER FUN THAT OTHERS WOULD THINK WERE CRAZY!!!!
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Is your jaw hanging wide open?  Ya, mine was too, and my hand was fully clasped over my mouth while my eyes were bugging out in horror!  You don't think she has stalker tendencies do you? I mean, she only mentioned the "24/7" part three times.

And, to think, this chick was married...for 10 years...and I can't even get past a third date with a guy!

*shudders*

Until next time...and yes, I do have more to show you!

~Carrie