DC Dude: Part 5 - "Where Is Your Heart?"

(continued from DC Dude: Part 4)

I had just come back from a 3-day date with Beef Cake.  We had just met for the first time after a successful six-week courtship - everyone was rooting for him, including myself, and here I was texting DC Dude.  

I thought for sure I would be going straight to Hell for this one... 

It happened to be a Sunday and, after years of being single, Sundays had always been the hardest day of the week for me.  I always felt Sunday should be spent lounging around in bed all day long with someone you love - getting up only to have coffee, read the paper, or go meet up with friends for brunch.

And, guess who I imagined doing this with...I hate to break the news, but it wasn't Beef Cake.  His "BMD" (baby mama drama) killed any, and all, attraction I had for him.  The truth was, I missed DC Dude.  His last text to me read, "We need a weekend together.  Miss ya." I couldn't believe my eyes when I read it, but Beef Cake was in the picture, so I ignored DC Dude's text.  (Well, I was a little miffed at the fact that DC Dude's track record was to show up and then leave me hanging.  We'd be in contact for a few days then nothing for weeks.  That didn't work for me.)

Now with DC Dude in my mind, I stood there in the kitchen wallowing in my own thoughts.  I couldn't ignore the giant, pink elephant standing in the room, anymore.  It was Sunday, I was alone.

If you want the same, do the same.  If you want different, then do different.

I scrolled through my messages until I found DC Dude's last text he had sent weeks before and re-read it again. I figured I had nothing to lose, and everything to gain.  Before I could change my mind, I had quickly typed up a text and sent it to him.

DC Dude:  17-day time delay.  LOL.  Nice!  :)

Carrie:  Oh, stop it.  Your track record is far worse!!!  :)

DC Dude:  Justified.

Carrie:  Priorities.

DC Dude:  Kiss my ass, priorities.  You miss me.  Admit it. 

Damn him...that...prick!  Yes, I missed him.

But instead of being honest I, instead, decided to play it cool.

Carrie:  Think of you, yes.  Miss you...?

DC Dude:  LMAO.  You're full of positivity this morning...

Carrie:  What?!  I'm Positive F*cking Pollyanna....kiss my foot.

DC Dude:  Rather kiss your you-know-what.  For hours.  :)

He was too quick to turn it to a sexual subject: Typical guy.  Well, Beef Cake had to work for that.  He put in his time and made me feel secure.   I knew he wasn't going anywhere - unlike Mr. "Disappearing Act" DC Dude.  The last time I saw DC Dude was in September.  It was now February!

February, that's five...f-i-v-e...months later. 

October...


November...


December...


January...


February...

The last time I had spoken to him was in December.  Again, it's now February!

To me, that's sending mixed signals.  I knew he liked me, but why was it so hard for him to keep in touch?

I had to put things in perspective...

Carrie:  Our priorities are different.  I can't understand yours, and you can't understand mine.  Simple.

DC Dude:  OK.

OK?

Carrie:  Don't take my bluntness as being negative, please.  I just have a firm grip on reality.  I'm nobody's "after thought."  You should know that...c'mon.

DC Dude: OK.

He was pissing me off.  I get an "OK," again?  This was a guy who was very charismatic and who could sell paint off a wall, and he didn't have anything more to say other than just "OK"?  

That's crap!

Carrie:  We both know I deserve better - more.  As for you, and I say this from a loving place, because I care about you - you get what you give.  It's not a slam.  I just think your expectations are off...at least with me they are.  And lastly...texting?????  Really?  Priorities.

DC Dude:  OK

Speechless, pissed, irritated...it was useless...

And then, while I'm trying to not lose it, who chimes in?

BEEF CAKE:  Hi, Kitten!  I'm cleaning the downstairs and I just wanted you to know that, as I go about my day, whatever I might be doing, you are very close to my thoughts.  :)

Why couldn't DC Dude just be more like Beef Cake? 

Why couldn't Beef Cake be more like DC Dude?

Hmmmm...if I could only combine the two guys into one...

I felt that DC Dude didn't leave me anything to work with, and I didn't own a crowbar to break through his wall, so I went about my day, and tried to forget about him, and how very frustrated he made me feel.  

Five hours later, even after discussing the whole thing with Beth, I was still feeling frustrated with DC Dude.  I decided to not holding back anymore and I was going to go for broke.

And, not in the nice way...

Carrie:  See?  I don't even know who you are anymore.  You easily shut down.  No discourse.  The guy I remembered clearly doesn't exist anymore.  And yes, I do miss him.

DC Dude:  What?  I just don't give a shit.  You're right.

Carrie:  There is no more friendship.  It faded a long time ago because we didn't build on the foundation of what we started.  You dropped off.  We are left with two people who are attracted to each other, and that's it.  I'm 40.  Not some 20-something year old girl who gets excited whenever a guy pays attention to me.

DC Dude:  I'm 35.

Carrie:  Why you have kept coming around is beyond me.  If you are looking for a hook-up, you should fish in local waters.

DC Dude:  You live 4 states away.  That's a bit ridiculous for a simple hook-up.  Please spare me.

Carrie:  I liked you for all the right reasons, and I just get treated like an after thought.  It's unacceptable, and really I expected better from you.  You don't get it, because, if you did, you would have done better by me.  I deserve better.

DC Dude:  OK.  You're right.

Carrie:  Then what?!  What do you want?????

I sat there in Red Rocket, parked in front of Home Depot, freezing my ass off...waiting...waiting for him to finally say something - to say anything.

Say something!

But, he didn't.

*Big lip*

Why is this so difficult?!

I couldn't do it anymore.  He had to know he just couldn't randomly pop up out of nowhere and expect that I would greet him with open arms.  This is not OK. We had been doing this for over a year now.   

How could he not know that every time he disappeared, it hurt my feelings?     

I had to bite the bullet, and just do what was right for me.

Carrie:  If you don't have the ability to say it; if you can't be an adult and just be honest with me, and most of all, be the guy I deserve, then please just leave me the FUCK alone!!

DC Dude:  OK.

Why couldn't he just step up?  

Why couldn't he just say what we both already knew?  

*grabs tissue and dry eyes*