No More Older Guys, Please!

So, that's it.  No more older guys.  I'm done.  Two unsuccessful dates in a row, one with Mr. Vermont and the other with Finance Guy.  Both of them were 47-years old.  I'm done.  Look,  I realize that 47 is within my age bracket, but they both just seem so much older than me.  They looked older than me.  They act older than me.  I'm silly!  I'm fun!  I think I just want someone younger...

I know I come from a good gene pool, because both me and my brother look younger than what we actually are - and oh, God, please don't let him tell you he's my younger brother, which he loves to do, because he is definitely older!

Somehow, both Nathan and I have managed to age without any wrinkles so far - probably, because we both have stayed out of the sun.  For me, it's because the sun doesn't like me.  My makeup even has SPF15 in it - I use Prescriptives Flawless Skin, which is is my secret weapon,  plus I also put sunscreen on my face if I know I will be spending any length of time outside.

So far, so good.

My brother has stayed out of the sun, too!  But not on purpose, like his sister.  He's a
vampire
bar owner/bartender, so he lives mostly at night.

No sun =  No wrinkles.

(Now if we can only do something about his salt & pepper hair....)

+

 

*contemplating*

Nawwww....

Where was I?  Oh, yes...dating older guys.  Ya, I'm over it.  For me, I base my attraction from this simple, yet effective, question: "Can I see myself kissing him?"  And, often, when it comes to guys who are older than me - the answer is a big, fat NO!  Although, to me, older men are appealing, because they are usually more established and they know who they are. Most importantly, they know what they want.  Younger guys get easily distracted, if they have more than one woman interested in them.

Uhg!  What do I know...I'll probably be eating my words soon - like I always do.

Whatever.

I hate to put any restrictions on my dating but, right now, this is how I feel.

~Carrie

PS:  My gut tells me that I'll probably be eating my words soon...like I always do.

DC Dude: Part 6

(Continued from DC Dude: Part 5)

Did you really think that the last blog on DC Dude would be the last?

Well, it's not  - clearly, because here I am...writing...part SIX!

After spending hours writing Part 5, I realized that I had left no room for discourse with DC Dude - I just went at him.  I wasn't asking questions - I just assumed I knew everything and started blasting him.  I came to this realization after writing and re-writing the blog. After I was done editing it, I sounded like a crazy, bitter girl, which I am not. I was just frustrated with his lack of communication.  

I felt horrible for the tone I had used.  Where was the kind, loving girl that my grandmother had raised me to be?  I had no idea what was going on in his world and what did I have to lose by reaching out to him with an apology and telling him how I really felt?  My gut was telling me to go for it.

Carrie:  As hard as I try...

Carrie:  I can't stop thinking about you.  That's the truth.  Yes, I miss you.  And, I shouldn't have come across the way I did - I hope you can understand why - I was just so frustrated with you.

DC Dude:  Good.  Think of you as well.  Forgiven.

Carrie:  LOL...I haven't apologized yet!

Carrie:  I know I should be calling you rather than texting, but I have a hard time actually saying things sometimes.  Scary for me... So I'm going to be a chicken shit and just text you, OK?  First, is this a good time or are you busy?

DC Dude:  Ya ya.  OK.

Carrie:  ...and crappy signal at my mom's house!  Ya!  That's it!  That's why I have to text!

DC Dude:  OK #2

Carrie:  Great...now there's an awful feeling in my stomach and I'm drawing a blank...

DC Dude:  Ugh.  Try counting backwards from 50 to 0.

Carrie:  Hell, I think I'm going to barf.  Watery mouth, etc. ...NO!  Dammit.  I can do this *mumbles expletive*

DC Dude:  The word is "FUCK."

Carrie:  Yes, that "F" word that I try not to use..thank you very much...

Carrie:  There are some things that I'm very confident about...and then there are some things that I'm not.  You have thrown me off so many times, but I keep coming back to what my gut tells me...  For me, to like you on any level is hard, because I feel that you have already rejected me once...and who the "F" does that?

Carrie:  50, 49, 48, 47, 46, 45....

Carrie:  44, 43, 42...

DC Dude:  Enough.

Carrie:  This doesn't work - this counting thing.

DC Dude:  Hell no.

Carrie:  OK, you really need to work on elaborating and use longer sentences.  Using just one or two words can easily be misconstrued.

DC Dude:  Then call.

So I did, and we ended up talking for over an hour.  I finally got it off my chest about how I really felt about him, and that I didn't believe that our September run-in was a coincidence.  I told him that I wasn't looking for meaningless sex; I wanted intimacy. And, in order to have intimacy, I needed chemistry, which I felt that I had with him. I missed him, and our conversations.  And finally, I said I didn't think it was fair to try to date other guys, when I knew I was stuck on him. I proposed that we start over.  

He was definitely surprised at my phone call, because, if you remember, the last thing I said to him was to leave me the *bleep* alone.   At the end of our conversation he told me he would seriously think about everything I had said.  I had read Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus before, so I figured he just needed to go into his cave and think about things, although it wasn't the reply I was hoping for.

In my mind, and in my heart, I just wanted to come clean.  I just needed to know - was there real chemistry between us or not?  I knew I wasn't going to find out unless I gave it my best shot and that I laid out all my cards.  I wanted to follow my own advice about getting what you give.  I knew we weren't going to get anywhere unless I showed him I was willing to put some effort in.

After our talk, I switched up my game plan. I started texting less, and calling more. If I wanted to talk to him, I didn't wait for his call; I called him.  I noticed our conversations slowly started to flow again.  He shared with me that after almost a year of struggling financially, he was finally back on his feet again because he had started a new company.  I was genuinely happy for him.

At the end of April, we made plans to see each other. We would do a long weekend together:Thursday to Monday.

But, it seemed as though as soon as I booked my flight, he stopped calling and stopped returning my texts.  Never a good sign.  

Two weeks before my trip, I called to touch base.  He answered the phone and said he was on vacation with his father in Florida.  Oh, really?!  That was news to me. He was standing at a loud bar in the middle of the day and we couldn't hear each other very well, so he said he would call me later in the week.  Really?  Later in the week?  It was only Friday afternoon....

Again, not a good sign.

The week came and went and guess what? No call from DC Dude.  This was not looking good, but I was determined to just keep even-keeled and not jump to conclusions. 


Ten days later, and just a few days before I was scheduled to fly down to see him, I called DC Dude to make sure we were still on. He answered my call sounding flustered and said he would call me back later, as he was walking into church (at 2:00pm on a Monday afternoon?).

And hour later I get this text:

3:07pm

DC Dude:  Carrie, I just can't do it this week dear.  Too much going on right now.  My apologies.

Carrie:  And you tell me this in a text?

DC Dude:  With people right now.

I couldn't believe it. Yes, I was disappointed that he had to cancel, but he said this to me in a text?  He had time to go to church, but didn't have time to make a two minute call to me?  That would have been the right thing to do, because it had been 10 days since I last heard from him!

4:08pm

Carrie:  We need to talk about this.  What time is good for you?

He didn't reply and, at that point, all I can say is thank God for girlfriends, because reality was coming crashing down on me, and fast.  Thankfully, when I got his text I just so happened to be on the phone with Beth.  She always had a way of putting things in perspective, "A guy that really likes you Carrie, would at least have the decency to call you."

Right after I hung up with Beth, Brigitte called and invited me over for dinner.  It was perfect timing, and exactly what I needed at that moment: Baby-time with Graeson, a home-cooked meal and Martinis!

How cute is Graeson?!

Around 9:00pm I checked my cell phone and DC Dude still had not responded.  

Carrie:  I'm not going to assume anything, but I can speak for myself:  That hurt.  A lot.  There was a time when you were really excited about me.  I don't know what happened, but you have lost it, which is OK - except we have been carrying on now for almost 1.5 years.  I said how I felt about you.  If you don't feel the same - that's OK.  But, the right thing would have been to not lead me on - like I said before, I was into you for all the right reasons and put my best foot forward with an open heart.  If you like me, well, you just don't show it.  And, by canceling on me via text...well that's just crap - I deserve at least a phone call.  You don't have to say anything - because you already said it, by not calling and not returning my texts for well over a week now.  I can't do this.  I thought you would at least be honest with me and give me the courtesy of calling.  I deserved at least that.

DC Dude:  Hey drama queen.  Hold the bullshit until I'm done working!  Jesus, I just got back from being away with my father in FL for 11 days!!!!  AFTER a hellacious 5 months creating this company.  Goddammit get off yourself and realize I WAS being honest.  HOLY SHIT - RELAX and be patient, please.

Oh. My. God.  Did he just call me a drama queen and tell me to get over myself?  MYSELF?  I haven't heard from him in 10 days...and he's telling me to get over myself? 

Myself?!

For a minute, I was Tom Hanks in "The Money Pit"...

Wow, he really knew how to nurture a relationship!  Clearly, he was callous with my feelings...

Carrie:  Get over myself?  Drama queen?  Really?  Wow...this just keeps getting better with you.

DC Dude:  Yes, because you know me better.  Just be understanding and patient, please.  I had to miss a meeting in NC this afternoon b/c I was so damn busy I could not leave.

Carrie:  You don't talk to me. You don't call me.  You don't return my texts...what do you expect?  I'm not a mind reader and I'm not there to see what is going on.  I can be patient.  I think I have been patient.  I don't think I have asked for too much from you - just common courtesy and honesty.  You were away on vacation for 11 days and you didn't call me once.  And then you cancel?  Tell me, what am I supposed to think?

Again, he didn't reply.

It was getting late, I said good-bye to Graeson and Brigitte and drove home listening to Kings of Leon - on full blast no less. I was pissed.  I was hurt.  I was done being patient, and giving him the benefit of the doubt.  Where was the consideration for my feelings?

I asked myself if my brother, Nathan, would be OK with DC Dude treating me this way? I knew the answer: "Hell, no!"  Again, it wasn't the fact that DC Dude was canceling on me...it was how he handled himself that spoke volumes.  No guy who cared about me would go on vacation for 11 days without wanting to talk to me. I didn't even know he was going on vacation!

Where was the reassurance that everything was OK with us? Something was up and I assumed it was fear-based, which prevented him from understanding how his in-actions were hurting my feelings...again!  If this was a taste of how things were yet to come, if this was how he handled himself in stressful times, then I wanted out. Not only was the writing on the wall, but it was lit up in neon lights just like Time Square on New Year's Eve! 

It was time.

10:25pm

Carrie:  Look, I know you "like" me, but I'm "in like" with you, which is far beyond the definition of just "like."  Call me a drama queen, but really if you were dying to see me you would have made it happen.  I don't know what your deal is...this all sounds like excuses to me.  So, I call bullshit.  I think you are just fucking afraid.  A-F-R-A-I-D, mother fucker! (swearing intentional!) That's the truth...I just needed YOU to say it.

10:45pm

Carrie:  *raising middle finger*  And that's for making me cry.  I'm done. 

I didn't hear anything back from DC Dude that night, but Nathan chimed in via text while I was in the middle of my melt-down.

Nathan:  So, DC Dude blew you off?  Men.  Can't live with 'em.  Can't perform complicated brain surgery replacing 64.5% of the brain and replacing it with a programmable chip.

Carrie:  He apologized and asked me to be patient.  Really?  What does that mean?  He was just on vacation for 11 days and didn't call me.  WTH?  Don't you think I deserve better?  I mean, even The Senator treats me better than that.  When The Senator picks me up, he comes to the door.  And when he drops me off, he always asks if he can walk me to the door...and DC Dude can't even call me to say he has to cancel?

Nathan:  Sounds bad.  If you want the answer to the question of what do I think?  If he was dying to be with you, he would show it.  He's not showing it.  Also, the chase, Carrie!  You gotta think of the chase!  Don't make yourself so available.

Carrie:  I did for the last YEAR!  That didn't work either...and if someone has to play games, then they are only in it for the games.  I want something REAL.

Nathan:  Ya gotta act like every guy means pretty much nothing until he does a back-flip off a 60-story building with flowers and chocolates in his hands.  They are not games. Just sorting out the weak.  You wanna mate with the lions, not the cubs.

Carrie:  The weak play games.  The strong are honest with their feelings.  I put mine out on the table a month ago!  Screw him if he can't deal.  He was a lot like MG...  Maybe that was a red flag right there.

Nathan:  Yip.  Could be!

Carrie:  They can both suck it for making me cry!  Boys suck, Nathan.

Nathan:  Yup.  They do.

Carrie:  That selfish prick doesn't even acknowledge my feelings AND he made me cry? Oh, I don't think so!  I'm so done with him!

NEXT!!!

And what was I supposed to do with a canceled R/T ticket to DC?  Exchange it for a 10-day trip to Florida with Beth, of course!!!!!

And, the hopeless romantic in me says that love isn't supposed to be this difficult! Love isn't supposed to leave me hanging or guessing. Love is supposed to make me feel confident - and DC Dude...well, we all know how he made me feel.

At least Keith knows how to love someone...

Just Call Me Angela!

It's St. Patrick's Day, and my very first time venturing out to a bar to celebrate the holiday - I know, and here I am Irish as the day is long! 

I'm in New Hampshire for a family visit, so I decided to go into my favorite bar The Shaskeen!  

I'm feeling good; I've got my kelly green sweater on and I'm wearing my uber-sexy, kitty-kitty, meow-meow boots with my jeans tucked into them.  I always get complimented on those boots, plus they make me about 6'2".  It's hard to miss me in a crowd!  And, they definitely put a little swagger back into my walk.

*MEOW!*

Seeing this was my first St. Patrick's Day going to a bar, I wasn't quite sure exactly what to expect but at 4:30pm, as I was trying to park my car, I began to notice a lot of people already doing the bar crawl dressed in their green outfits and staggering drunk.  I thought better them, than me!

I walk into the bar alone knowing that at some point I would probably bump into someone I knew. And, just as expected, right when I walk in I spot my cousin, Kristin, and her boyfriend.  We chat up a storm and who comes in next, but my Auntie Holly and Uncle Dave. I'm so deliriously happy to see them...and I'm drinking beer!!!

Next, my cousin, Lizzie, walks over to me and gives me a big hug.  It was surreal, because we had been trying to meet up with each other for the last a couple years, but the timing was always off.  It's a long story, but this was our first time meeting each other - ever!

Somehow, the hours were flying by. Alcohol, I have learned, makes me a little chatty and fiery - if that's possible.  I'm really enjoying myself, and over-joyed to be hanging with my family.  They rock!

At one point, I remember a tall guy joining our little gathering at the corner of the bar.  I didn't really notice him at first, and I can't remember if I was introduced to him or not, but from the looks of it, he apparently knew my cousin, Kristen.  My feet were getting tired, so I decided to take a little break and sit down.

Sipping my beer (I was well onto my 2nd pint!) and listening to a conversation that Uncle Dave was having with the two guys sitting next to us, my Auntie Holly comes over to me all excited and wide-eyed.

"Carrie....Carrie!  Don't you know who that is?" she said pointing to the guy talking to Kristen.

I lean to my left and looked around my aunt's shoulder to get a better look.


"Uhm...no..I don't recognize him.  Should I?"

"You don't recognize him? Carrie! You don't recognize him?"

I look at my auntie with a blank look on my face, "Seriously, I don't recognize him."

"Carrie!  It's Rugby Dude!  You know...Rugby Dude who ate off your plate?!"

In my slight beer fog, it finally dawned on me exactly who this tall good-looking guy was talking to Kristen.

"Holy crap! That's Rugby Dude???" My auntie's face lit up as she vigorously nodded her head in agreement.

I immediately stood up, practically pushed my auntie aside, and strutted my 6'2" self on over to Rugby Dude, interrupted his conversation with Kristen and proclaimed, "Now I remember you!"

Like a deer-in-the-headlights, Rugby Dude looked at me and then over to my aunt, "Did she just have to remind you who I was...because, look, I'm really sorry about that night.  I was really drunk..."

Oh, he was drunk that night alright!  

It was three years ago...

I was out with my friend, Lisa, who I had not seen in 10 years or so.  I was excited to catch up with her over dinner at The Wild Rover.  Nathan, my brother, was the bartender there that night, so I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone.

Lisa and I sat in the restaurant area of the bar. We both ordered the pumpkin ravioli, which I had been craving all week. I was starving, so when the waitress came by with our food, I was ready to eat!  I put my napkin in my lap and looked up to find a tall, good-looking, sweaty guy standing at our table.  I think I remember saying hello to him and then giving him a look like can I help you?  He was staring at my scrumptious plate of pumpkin ravioli and then took it upon himself to help himself to one of the ravioli's!  With his hand!

"Seriously?!"  

I pushed the plate towards him, "Honey, you can have the whole thing."  

At the time, I didn't know, or care, who he was and clearly, he didn't know who I was. But it didn't matter who I was - rude is rude!

"Really?" as he chewed my food.

"Really. It's all yours," I said sarcastically.

As he walked away with my plate, my attention went back to Lisa who was sitting across from me in shock.  

Trust me, it took all I had not to chase after him, grab my pumpkin ravioli and dump it all over his head. And then, top it all off by giving him my best flying elbow. 

Fortunately for him that stupid thing in my head called my conscience chimed in and reminded me that I didn't want to known around town as "Nate's sister - who clocked a guy for eating off her plate."

Although, it did have a nice ring to it...

Instead, I thought it would be best to let my big brother do my dirty work for me.   

*DING!*

If you want to be treated like a lady, you have to act like one. 

*DING! DING!*

Instead of clobbering dude, I let Nathan handle it. Oh, and believe me, he wasn't happy when I told him what had just happened because, apparently, that "dude" was one of the rugby guys that frequented the bar all the time and his team brought in a lot of business.

I knew that wasn't going to matter to Nathan.  Because "sister" trumps "rugby player,"  Someone was about to get kicked out!

Fast forward to St. Patrick's Day three years later...

"You're the guy who ate off my plate!"

"Did your aunt just tell you who I am?"

Nodding my head up and down and staring at him with fire in my eyes I said, "Oh, yes she did!  I didn't recognize you.  You looked different back then.  Your hair was shorter and blonder, and you were looking like a sweaty, hot mess that night."

"Listen, I'm really sorry about that night.  I didn't know who you were, and I guess that was my way of flirting with you."

"Flirting? I'm surprised that that you even remember that night because you were tanked!  You didn't even have your shoes on.  And, you were in a bar!"

"It was my birthday, and we had just won a game...I was drunk, but I do remember everything."

"Yes you were!  Nathan was so angry with you!  I've only seen him that angry twice in my life.  Once, was Halloween, when someone grabbed my super-hero ass, and the other time was when you ate off my plate!"

Rugby Dude got kicked out immediately that night. He said that he felt so bad about the incident that he didn't show his face in the bar for a month.

Big whoop.  A whole month?  Hell, if he really felt that bad it should have been for at least six months...


Rugby Dude seemed like a nice guy while we were talking, but the whole time I kept hearing my auntie's voice in my head reminding me that he was a bad boy and to stay away from him.  She would know because not only did he go out with Kristen a few times, but also one of Kristen's friends - and the rumor was...he was not a nice guy to date.  So, I was all set - I didn't even have the desire to entertain the thought of going out with him until I, at one point, in our conversation, touched his arm and all reasonable and responsible thoughts went out of my head!

*ZING!*

Instead, they were replaced with the thought that maybe the Dating Gods had answered my prayers!  Underneath those clothes, I imagined his body was similar to my dream boat, Alexander Scarsgard...

*SWOON!*

At 8:00pm, my friend Rachel walked in and my family left.  As they were leaving, Aunt Holly gave me another warning to stay away from Rugby Dude.  I smiled and assured her that I would.

Now, let me give you a little back-ground on Miss Rachel.  Rachel eats men up and spits them out and then wipes her feet on whatever is left of them.  And guys love it. She is a professional at verbal lashings and ball busting - so I figured that maybe Rugby Dude just needed someone more like Rachel to put him in his place. I immediately introduce them.  

Shaking her hand he looks at me and asked, "Does she know, too?"

"Of course she does!"  I said with a big smile on my face.

The evening carried on and Rachel and I had a great time talking and flirting with the other patrons at the bar.  But it was obvious that the both of us had the hots for Rugby Dude.

I have to hand it to Rachel - if a guy is a dirt bag they'd better watch out, because she will treat them like the piece of sh*t they are, and have no qualms about it.  I was secretly hoping that Rugby Dude would go for Rachel and take the heat off of me.  Nathan was bartending and watching me talk to Rugby Dude.  I had been drinking, so even though I knew he was a bad boy, and I got specific instruction to stay away from him, I was definitely feeling attracted to him.  How could I not?  He was my type - minus the bad boy part, of course.  He was about 6'3, handsome, clean cut, athletic and wearing a button down shirt and slacks like he just came from the office.  Oh, and he was from Texas and still had a bit of an accent...and you know what they say about guys from Texas!

*starts to purr* 

But then, I remembered the most important thing of all:  The Rules!  

Specifically, Rule #2 - Nathan and I do not date each others friends.  (Dammit!)  that rule really isn't fair, because he is like the mayor - he knows everyone in town.


Then, I noticed Rugby Dude and Rachel talking on the other side of the bar.  I thought for sure I now wouldn't have to worry about the rules or fight off the lusty thoughts I was starting to have for him!  That worked until Rachel came back over to where I was standing at the bar.  She was laughing hysterically.

"You are not going to believe this!  He thought your name was Angela!  Oh, my God! He was talking the whole time about Angela and I was like, who? And he said, you know, Nathan's sister.  And I said, you mean, CARRIE?!  Girl, it was so funny, because then he asked if I was going to tell you he got your name wrong, and I said, oh definitely!"

I told you she was a ball-buster.

(Again, Beth is my proofreader - she occasionally leaves funny comments in pink caps - they were too funny to delete.)

Boys! Are they that clueless? Do they really think that they can act and treat women however they want to without any repercussions?  Clearly, he was really loaded that night he ate off my plate because there's drunk...and then there's tanked!  (STICKY FINGERS IN A STRANGERS FOOD....EWWWW!) On top of that, then he's got a really bad reputation with women per my auntie, cousin and big brother - (FAMILY CONSENSUS!)  (AND...THE ICING ON HIS CAKE...IF HE REALLY GAVE A DINGDANGDOODLE ABOUT ANY OF THE ABOVE, HE'D KNOW YOUR NAME...IT WOULD BE BLAZED INTO HIS GREY MATTER...RIGHT ALONG WITH HIS FAVORITE MOVIE LINE AND THE SIZE OF NATHAN'S FIST.)  Did my name really escape him?  Really?  A class act, I tell you!

 

LESSON LEARNED:  Handsome as hell, does not trump train-wreck.

NEXT!!!!!

Mortgage Guy: Part 4

And the saga continues.....Saturday morning.....

8:37am

Mortgage Guy: Can we definitely meet for coffee late this afternoon, maybe around 3:00pm?

I didn't ask why, I just went with it….well, sort of. Whatever - I'll just switch my schedule around for the day.

Carrie: You’re killing me. Ok…

2:29pm

Nathan: I just got a Valentine's Day card from an awesome chick!

Carrie: You're welcome! I'm just waiting on Mortgage Guy....our date (at Starbucks, no less) was changed from 10am, to this afternoon. What IS HIS DEAL?! Uhg!

Nathan: Strike!

Carrie: Technically, it's strike #2. Remember when he flaked 2 weeks ago? I'm trying to be Zen, and non-judgmental, because Becky said he was a good guy. We'll see.....

2:35pm

Carrie: Eh-hem. What are we doing, Goober?

Mortgage Guy: Be there in 20, Geek.

Mother......&$*%@#......!!!!!

Son of a %$@#...!!!!!

Carrie: Daum, you are on time...ok...because you said AROUND 3:00pm...maybe I should change your name to "Flake." :) Now I'll be the one who is a little late.....

Seriously! "Around," and "at" have two totally different meanings! God!

I switched into high gear, got ready, jumped into Red Rocket and drove into Manchester.

I hate being late!

I walk into Starbucks, and he's sitting at the first table in the corner.  We hug, and say hello and proceed to get in line for coffee.  While we are standing there, I turn to him and ask him if he's a "flake," and should I be concerned about his lack of attention - maybe has Attention Deficit Disorder.....jokingly of course!


(C’mon, he deserved it!)

"A-R-O-U-N-D...is not AT," I explain to him. I was getting the feeling that he just didn’t appreciate who he had standing in front of him. (Not to sound too arrogant, but I didn't notice any other 5'11" redheads knocking down his damn door!)

I can hear Kelly from Nashville say, "Oh, God. There she goes again....."

(Ok, I was a just a little irritated.)

We sit down and had a nice conversation for three hours, and during that time I decided to bring up the previous time we tried to get together, “What happened to you? I was so disappointed that I didn’t get to see you.”

“Well, I figured I’d let you cool off for a while, that’s why I didn’t reply to your text,” he says.

“What?! Let me cool off? What are you talking about? We made plans for Saturday, you didn’t call me, and then you send me a text on Sunday. What is THAT?”

(Don’t challenge the redhead dude, you won’t win.)

“You were obviously pissed off with me….”

I stop him and said, “Wait, I didn’t use any exclamation points, or use all caps…I just basically said, “The only thing you should be saying is, ‘I’m sorry I didn’t call you like I said I would.’ What? You didn’t think I deserved an apology? You totally flaked on me."

“It’s not that, it’s just that you were so pissed off with me.”

“And, rightly so. I really wanted to see you again.”

I don’t get off on nailing people to the cross - an acknowledgement, and an apology, goes a LONG way with me. That’s all – it’s really simple. I don’t pout, I don’t hold grudges….just own it, so we can move on - please.

I did get my apology….and we quickly moved on - because that’s just my style.

At the beginning, things were kept light, but he's blatant just like me – and said point-blank: "When are you moving back to New Hampshire? What's the date?"

A date? That would probably be helpful, but I'm not going to move back until I get a job offer, or get laid off. Getting laid off is more than likely, but I'm not going to pull the trigger unless I have a job lined up. I’m taking one day at a time.

I have to say I was impressed with his conviction - he said he didn't want to date a girl who lived in New Jersey. He already had gone through a relationship where a girl who moved to Manchester for him.  They eventually broke up, and she blamed him for "screwing up her life" because she had moved to Manchester for him. He didn't want to do it again.

Ok....excuse me, but really? You are going to label me into the same category as this twit you dated.  Really? Me....? You get that impression that I'm moving for you? Ha!

Oh......silly boys.  See, if he had gotten to know me, he would know that I had already moved for a boyfriend before- years ago, and I would never do it again.  No, regardless of whether or not he was in the picture, I was moving back.  It's was not a matter of "if," but a matter of "when."  My Mamma needs me back in New Hampshire.....end of story.

"Basically, call me when you get settled in New Hampshire. We'll keep in touch, but I just can't date you, unless I know you are 100% available."

I translated it as: You are needy just like I am....and I totally called him out on it.  And, he agreed with my observation.

"I get it. Being away from the person you are dating is torture. I get it. Really, but I just want to add this....that I dated someone in Los Angeles for three months. I got on a plane ever other Friday at 6:30pm, and came home at 11:45pm Sunday night. So, don't tell me that a long distant relationship can't work. THAT was long distance!  THIS is just a four hour drive away. I just want to explore the possibilities with you....I don't think it's a wise move to limit yourself – because I'm here right now, and I may not be when I move back. But.....if this is what you want, then I'm going to honor your wishes. It is what it is."

It turned awkward after that, so I told him that we really didn't have anything left to discuss, but that we’d stay in touch.


Yes, we’ll stay in touch…..after all, I might need a mortgage loan soon!


And leave it to my brother, Nathan, to remind of me of seeing the comedy in all of it:

Nathan: How was the date with Mortgage Guy?

Carrie: Good....he apologized. *smiles* We talked for 3 hours. He's interested, but doesn't want to get involved, until I'm settled back here, which I understand. *sigh*

Nathan: Hmmmmm.

Carrie: He asked a few times during the date when I'm moving back....and seeing I can't give him one, he "doesn't want to date a girl who lives in NJ." Hates long distant relationships.

Nathan: Well, when you get up here, you might be seeing someone else! Opportunity, usually only knocks once…..

Carrie: That's what I said!  I didn't think it was a smart move on his part....I mean, people like me don't grow on trees.

Nathan: Nope. You're like a carrot, you come from the ground?

Carrie: Uhm...what kind of analogy is THAT? How about....I'm like a blue moon....I only come around once in a while!

Nathan: Like a groundhog?

Carrie: No! Like a blue moon!

I'm like a God damn friggin' blue moon, Nathan!


Dammit!


*laughing*

Mortgage Guy

I’m not on Match.com anymore, but I am on www.PlentyofFish.com, which some of my friends have referred to as "Plenty of Crap," or "Plenty of White Trash." Regardless, it’s a FREE online dating website.

Recently, I changed my status to living in Manchester, NH; I figured I would take Julie’s advice and fish in a local pond, seeing that I am seriously considering moving back to New Hampshire.

Yup, you read that right. I’m pretty much over the NYC/NJ thing. Nothing really keeping me there except my Monday through Friday job.  And now, because of the Recession, my hours were reduced to only working Monday through Thursday. If you do the math.....here, I’ll help you….that’s a 20% reduction in my salary. TWENTY! So, why I am living so far away from my family and friends, when I could (hopefully) find another job for the same money in New Hampshire?

So, the other weekend, I'm on PlentyofFish, and I have emails from two guys who caught my attention. The first one lives in North Sutton, NH.

North Sutton? Where the hell is that? I actually had to look it up on the map – and it was pretty damn far.

The other guy was a local guy from Manchester. He's 39-years old, 6’3” and owns a mortgage company.

I wasn’t too sure about the guy in North Sutton, because even though I was attracted to him, he didn’t have too much to say, plus he was AA for two years. Yikes! Great for him, but bringing someone to the Hen House that doesn't drink would probably go over like a fart in church!

So, now we are down to Mortgage Guy. Not sure if I will be into him. I'm concerned he won't be my type because he's a red head – but now shaves his head bald….so he USED to be a red head. Whatever.

We email; then graduate to texting for four days….and I’m expecting him to call me any day now, but he doesn’t. Typical.

*Rolling eyes*

So, fine.  I'll break tradition and call him first, so on Thursday night during my 4-hour drive to New Hampshire, I called him.

Conversation was good, it was easy to talk to him. I was hoping to meet him that weekend, but he couldn’t because it was his weekend with his 6-year old daughter. Damn.

I ask him if he knows my brother, Nathan, and he tells me he's been inside the Wild Rover once in 10 years, but that yes, he knew who he was.  Nathan had dated one of his friend's ex-girlfriends.  (No surprise there!)  But, at least we don't have to worry about Rule #2.  Whew! He tells me to drive safe, and that he'd be in touch on Friday.

Friday afternoon, I’m running around doing errands with Mommer. Mortgage Guy is texting me all day, trying to figure out a way we could meet, and he finally comes up with an idea. Would I be interested in meeting him at 4:00pm at Starbucks?

Starbucks?  Really?  We have one in Manchester?

Yes, there's one on South Willow Street and he goes there every Friday afternoon with his daughter.  He suggests that we could “accidentally bump into each other.”  Sounds like a plan!

I finish up errands with Mommer, and I head over to Starbucks. I’m there on time, I buy a Tall Skinny Vanilla Latte and find a comfortable spot, sit down and while I wait, I open up my Bible, “The War of Art."

He was a little late, but there was no mistaking him. He was definitely 6’3” and had a presence – or was it the big, huge smile across his face that gave him away? Clearly, he liked what he saw.

*smiles*

He walks in, dutifully holding his daughter’s hand, and approaches me. We say hello to each other and then he introduces me to his little girl. She’s as adorable as can be, and reminds me of Bernice in, “Hope Floats,” (my favorite movie).

Like her daddy, she’s got this little edge to her - and just like Bernice, her glasses are also too big, but hers are pink.

I get up, so we can move to where there is more comfortable seating. We decide to sit in the big soft chairs in the back of the room – his daughter settles in her chair, right across from us. She’s content with her pumpkin bread, hot chocolate and her Game Boy. I smile, as I’m watching her, and then I turn to Mortgage Guy.

Finally, we are face to face. Gosh he’s really cute! Great smile and love his nice, deep man voice – oh, and big man hands, too! Meow-meow! Okay, thank God – physical attraction is there *ding!* and apparently it’s mutual as he can’t seem to get that smile off of his face.

We end up talking about the basics….basically why are you still single? He doesn’t believe me when I tell him that it’s not me.  The choices at my age are limiting, and I add jokingly, “All the good ones are taken already!” He laughs, but doesn’t buy it. He can’t fathom how I’ve made it this far without being married – then he accuses me of being a “Runaway Bride.”

Runaway Bride? Me? Hell, no. I liked it better when he was calling me meatball earlier in the week when we were texting!

We end up talking for an hour and a half. But then I had to excuse myself, so I wouldn’t be late meeting the girls at the Hen House for wine and pizza. 

We hug each other good-bye, and he tells me that next weekend he’ll be available to see me again, because he won’t have his daughter.  Great!  I'm looking forward to it!

Overall, I liked him. He was much better looking in person than he was in his photos. And, of course, being 6’3” doesn’t hurt one bit! He'll definitely get a second date with me.

Huh…imagine that…I never thought I’d be into a guy that is a red head, but if there is one thing in the world that I’ve learned - it's that you NEVER SAY NEVER!  Yup!  There I go again...eating my words, as I know I've said it several times before.

*laughing*

See? That’s God, and his humor!

Crap! I’ve also said I would never date a short guy!