Don't Date Him Girl: John Nicholson

"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." 

Albert Einstein

One of my LA girlfriends emailed me the other day with some interesting, but disturbing news:

LAGF: I got a funny story for you, you know that guy you went out with "John"..bald guy, etc..? 

ME:  What guy? Do tell! I'm in bed with the flu.  :( 

LAGF:  Ucky...drink Theraflu. He lives in LA/NY allegedly. Bald guy, you met him on Match?  Nicholson..

ME: Ah, John Nicholson...the actor.  Ya...never "met" him.  Never did like actors....so what's the story?

LAGF:  Well, like a year and a half ago, or two years...I went for a drink with him. This year at Thanksgiving, he comes to our house....with his prego fiancee (also, the fiance is my BF's good friend)...  Sad, because according to her they have been together for like 5 years. I did not say anything to her, but it just made me think....

ME:  Interesting!  I always thought he was sketchy, and that's why I didn't go out of my way to meet him.  He's too desperate to be noticed as an actor....to get laid....to have a GF...etc.  I just checked out his FB page - his GF, Luana, is all over his wall. I noticed that nobody else writes anything on there.  I blocked his posts a while back, simply because I got tired of reading all of his self-promotion shit.  I actually forgot about him.  So, your BF is friends with his GF? And, she said they've been together for 5 years? Ya, wanted me to meet him about 3 years ago, I think.  Maybe less than that.  How does your BF know Luana?

LAGF:  Sweetheart, the girlfriend is Jennifer.  Who is Luana? 

ME:  LOL!  Well then, who is THIS chick who is ALL OVER his Facebook page?!  

LAGF:  That's not who was at Thanksgiving with John!

ME:  OMG...so that's not the chick who showed up?!  What a dirt bag.  Seriously...check out his FB page...she is the only person commenting on there and is totally caught up in him!

LAGF:  I don't care that much to look..but the prego girlfriend is a sweetheart.  Comment, "Congrats on your new baby and engagement."  LOL

ME:  Chick, don't even dare me, because you know I will!  Are you sure we are talking about the same guy?  John Nicholson...dude in the photo?!   I noticed he doesn't have any friends on FB named Jennifer....  Wow...living a total double life.  I knew I didn't like him.

Look, nobody's perfect.  People cheat every day, right?  So why did this bother me so much?  Well, because I've been the one who has had the wool pulled over their eyes and it's the worst feeling in the world.  I was totally humiliated.  People didn't want to get involved or go out of their way to tell me the truth, so in the end,  I was the one who suffered.  It took me a long time to get over it - the humiliation, not the lie.

I felt bad for both Luana and Jennifer, mostly for Jennifer, though, because I later found out she was about two weeks away from giving birth to John's baby.  And, based upon my correspondence with Luana (yes, I emailed her on Facebook) she believed she was the only woman in John's life.

It's a shitty thing to do to someone...lie and toy with their heart strings.  It's despicable - people are selfish and cruel.

I emailed John and told him that I knew he was double dipping in the "engagement" department.  As expected, he skirted the truth and used deflection rather than owning up to his bad behavior.  Shocking, right?

The pregnant girlfriend, Jennifer, and I also emailed back and forth shortly after my LA girlfriend had a telephone conversation with her. It was sad that John, at 47-years old, couldn't own up the truth, and despite being caught he insisted to Jennifer that he didn't even have a Facebook account.  Well, that sucked for him, because I sent Jennifer the Facebook emails John and I had exchanged.  Clearly, John didn't think she deserved to know the truth, but I did.

Had the www.dontdatehimgirl.com website still be working today, I would have put John's sorry mug up on there. It was a great website to warn other women not to date dirt-bags like John.  But, you can no longer post someone's profile on there, so now I have to use my own blog, because you and I both know, this ain't over.  He'll be up to his old dirty antics soon enough, but I'm secretly hoping that having this baby will change him.  One can only hope.



I wonder, if more people had a sense of shame, would our society that we live in today be a better place?

This is why it takes a village.

~Carrie

"Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth."  ~Buddha~

 

Just Call Me A Date Wrecker

Back in March, I was in NYC meeting one of my New Hampshire girlfriends, Denise, at the ever-so-lovely, Algonquin Hotel.

She and her fiancé, Gary, who lives in London, were having a little weekend rendezvous, and this was my first time meeting him. I was very excited.

That night, I get to The Algonquin Hotel on time, and meet up with Denise in her room.  She tells me that Gary's flight from London is late, so we decide to go downstairs to the bar, and have a cocktail while we waited.

After having our first drink, Denise and I somehow started talking to the couple sitting next to us.  At one point, I told them we were waiting for Denise's fiancé and announce that they had just gotten engaged. Then we asked the couple why they were there at the hotel.  It turned out that they were on their first Match.com date.

I naturally had to chime in about how I felt about Match.com - my horrible luck and that I've been off and on for a few years.

As I'm talking, I notice that this woman's date is staring at me. And, I mean staring.  I do my best to ignore him and keep the conversation going with his date.  I'm fidgeting though, trying to be cool - trying to maintain my composure as best as possible, but he was making it difficult. He wasn't taking his eyes off of me.

I feel weirdness in the air.  I'm trying like Hell to avoid any and all eye-contact with her date. Then the guy interrupts me and says, "Ya, I remember you. I winked at you several times and sent you a few emails, but you never replied back."

Uh-O, someone just turned up the dial on the "Uncomfortable Meter," because now I'm super uncomfortable!

I take a sip of my martini and look up, taking a really good look at him.

Oh, shit. I do recognize him! AWWWWWWW.......HELL! He's one of the guys who has winked and emailed me several times over the years, but I never replied. 

(Maybe he should have read my blog: "No Answer, Is Your Answer.")

I can't even remember if I said anything back to him besides, "Oh, really?" as I felt really bad for his date.  She was just sitting there looking at him, then looking at me, then looking back at him.  Not good.  And certainly not something you would expect on your first date.

I have no idea how this couple's date was going before he made his comments to me, but they left shortly thereafter.


A few weeks after the "Algonquin run-in," I get this:

Maketheleap says:

You totally wrecked my 1st date with someone - I could not keep my eyes away from you ;-)... Do you remember - mid-town west about 3 weeks ago? Match is starting to seem like "through the looking glass," and you just popped up from the rabbit hole. You were with your friend, who was getting married - I said hello because I remembered you - we once exchanged msgs... If you're not careful you can lose your true self with online dating... Well I think my true self would like to meet you... Hope you might be inclined - I'm sure we'd have a lot to talk about. 

Best wishes... Marcus

It was a very nice email he sent to me, but seriously?  I wrecked his date?  I know he was trying to give me a compliment in his email, but at the same time, he could have handled himself a little better in front of his date, and not made it so obvious that he was awestruck with me.

I do wish I felt some sort of "pull" with him, but I don't. Instinctively, I've always felt a creepiness with him - plus, the fact that he's had the same picture up on Match.com, for God knows how long, doesn't give me a warm-and-fuzzy kind of feel from him.  

There was never a spark - he's not my type.  I didn't feel anything when he contacted me long ago and, unfortunately, it didn't change even when he was sitting right in front of me.

This is the part of dating that I hate - the let-down, whether I'm being let down, or I'm causing someone else to be let down...it's all the same.  It still sucks - big time.

*Big sad face*

I've been called a lot of things before, but I guess now I can add to the list, "Date Wrecker." 

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12.04.09  UPDATE!!!!

I'm truly BESIDE MYSELF RIGHT NOW!!!  This stupid story about this guy just keeps going!

So, I'm sitting here with my friend, Beth, who is also an on-line dating veteran, and I'm showing her the ideas I've got for future blogs about dating. We're sitting on the couch together with my laptop on my knee showing her some of the photo's that I've saved from various profiles that would go with my stories. 

As I'm showing her the various photo's, she stops me and points to the picture of Marcus.  I look at her and say, "What?"

She keeps pointing at the photo and looks at me with her eyes bulging.

"Him!"

"Him, who?  What? Yes, that's that guy from the Algonquin Run-In.  You know, the guy who called me the date wrecker.   Well, that's him."

"Oh my God, Carrie.  I dated him - and he was a HUGE womanizer.  Total scum."

WHAT?! You have GOT to be kidding me!  AGAIN?  So, now we've dated two of the same guys before we knew each other!???

See, I knew he was a Mr. Creepy Man!  Jerk!  See, and this is what I'm talking about - for all of my friends who think I'm being too picky and too judgmental and not giving guys a chance, my gut intuition has yet to be wrong!

Normally, I would never post someone's picture, but in this case I think everyone should see what a dirt-bag looks like!